Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
