I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
