I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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