Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
