but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
