Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
