some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
