you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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