it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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