I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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