...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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