none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just googled if crying burns calories
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
