whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
