they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
