you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
