There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
