I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
