Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
