I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
