I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
