Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hello my rib-scented angel!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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