Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Me too!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
