remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I cockslap morals
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
