It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
