if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
