five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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