If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
