Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize
