1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
