Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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