god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
