we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
