I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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