Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
