Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
