Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
