I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
