i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
