I have demons in me.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
