can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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