i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
