New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
