Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
