The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
