ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
