imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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