What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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