you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
