one two three fourrrrnication!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
