I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Found your dick twin last night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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