do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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